Silence in preparation for...

     I haven't posted in a few days because I have been thinking...Yes thinking...what message do I want to send?  What is everyone doing to prepare for the upcoming holidays?  Some people are so excited and love the entire season and others dread it because of loss, family issues, stress, etc.  I love the holiday season and have always enjoyed decorating and getting together.  Then I had children and everyone started coming to my home for the holidays and I have to admit stress starting seeping in and I didn't enjoy the holidays as much as I would like.  Don't get me wrong I still LOVE the holiday just not having to rush and stress out about all the preparations.  So this year I have taken time to meditate and ask God for help and I have been making lists and getting things done earlier.  First thing in the morning I read my Bible, pray, and find that ideas come to my mind that help me (yes I know it's HIM) plan what I want to do.  I have had ideas pop into my head for years; the difference now is that I keep a paper and pencil handy and when the idea comes to mind I jot it down.  Then I put it on my list and I remember the awesome idea!!  I have already organized what is going to happen Thursday for Thanksgiving and what I need to do each day to make sure everything is ready.  It has already relieved much of my stress because I have a plan.  I also did holiday shopping with my husband and when I came home instead of putting presents in the closet I wrapped them right away so I will not have to wrap presents Christmas Eve while everyone else is having fun!  I spoke to my husband about expectations so that both of ours are met and we can both have an enjoyable holiday with family and friends. 
     Another thing I have done is told everyone what I am making; the turkey, steamed broccoli, and two pumpkin pies and then let each family bring what they would like so that everyone has their holiday traditions and I don't have to cook as much so I can enjoy the holiday with them. 
     My wonderful husband has arranged for one of his clients, who owns a cleaning service, to clean our home on Tuesday so that I don't have to stress about cleaning Wednesday after work while I'm baking and getting the food ready.  I know he is awesome and that's probably why we've been married 26 years!! LOL 
     I know many of you have family issues that make the holiday challenging, as do I, but I will let you know that I have learned a VERY valuable lesson this year (yes I may be a little slow).  I have learned that I only have control over myself and just because someone tries to start something I don't have to participate.  I can ignore rude behavior, walk away, smile, or ??? but I don't have to get sucked into their issues or any drama.  That choice is mine.  I am choosing to be myself and let them deal with their own issues.  I choose to be happy!
     I am wishing all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving and pray everyone has a pleasant holiday. I would love to have you comment about any ideas you have, any traditions your family enjoys, or anything else you would like to share.
God Bless!
Nena

How are you preparing mentally for the Holidays?

We've all had a few days to think about the holidays and how we can prepare to make the experience a positive one even if others in our family are not so positive.  I have been planning the meal and thinking about everything I need to do to get ready.  Since I work, more than full time, like most of you; I realize one of the things that puts pressure on me during the holidays is always having to rush and do things last minute because I don't have time to plan and prepare.  The last few days I have been thinking, searching and asking my husband what his vision for Thanksgiving is this year.  I have started preparing a shopping list and recipes that fit into everyone's meal plans.  I also have decided to do a little activity this year when everyone comes in and then share the responses to hopefully change the climate of the holiday.  I want to avoid the frustration I often feel while trying to prepare everything, get all the dishes to the table and still have them be hot, and serve everything on time because it seems I have relatives that like to get there just in time to eat and then leave shortly after.  While I am hoping everyone will notice a change and be happy this year I know realistically I cannot make everyone happy when dealing with so many people, personalities, and expectations.  What will be different this year is MY attitude which is the ONLY thing I HAVE CONTROL over.  I would love to hear any ideas, traditions, or activities that you have found to be successful. 
God Bless,
Nena

Do you find the holidays a stressful time?

This month we are all stopping to think about what we are thankful for and we all have many things to be thankful for.  I am very thankful for my relationship with God, my family, friends, my job, home, great weather, and the list goes on and on.  But I have been thinking about the Holidays and how stressful they become and how we all have different expectations during the Holidays.  Some family members think the celebration would look perfect one way while others think it would be better a different way.  There is no right or wrong way just different ways.  I think we all would agree that we would like to enjoy the fellowship and experience of sharing it with those we love and care about. 
Having said that I got to wondering what would happen if everyday we looked at what we like about each other?  What are the things that drew us together in the first place? What does your spouse, children, grandchildren, relatives, friends do that you like or admire?  And then in a sincere way we expressed that?  How would that change you?  Yes you!  When we start looking for the good or positive in each other it brings out the best in us!  Yes people will say things and quite frankly hurt us but we don't have to buy into the negativity.  That's them...I can respond positively and look for the good in them and that makes me feel better.  It makes my experiences better.  Most people say mean things and lash out at others because of their own hurt, shame, guilt, or life experiences...many times it has nothing to do with the person being lashed out against.  Everyone has pain in their life and we often think we are the only ones experiencing the pain but in reality that's just not true.
I dare you to look for only the positive in every situation today and everyday the rest of the month.  Then I want you to look back and reflect on what you see?  How do you feel?  What changes do you see in yourself?  Then I dare you to continue this positive journey with me.  I think you will be amazed.  Please leave me comments of what experiences you have.  I'm looking forward to hearing all the great transformations that happen. 
God Bless,
Nena

What did I do to lose the weight?

Yesterday I was asked what I did in the beginning of my journey to get motivated to lose weight…I had to think because really I hadn’t thought too much about it.  I remember being very scared that once again I wouldn’t succeed.  I also remember thinking I cannot do this by myself.  I prayed to God that He would help me find something that would work, keep my food cravings away, and that He would reveal what I need to work on to not only have successful weight loss but to keep the weight off for the rest of my life. 

     In the beginning, I truly believed that I just loved food.  I didn’t have any issues with food except that it all tasted so good I couldn’t avoid it.  I LOVED pasta, bread, cheese (melted on anything), Mexican food, Italian food, and of course CHOCOLATE!! 

     I asked my husband to please join me and to clear EVERYTHING that wasn’t healthy out of the house.  I also asked him to please not bring anything into the house that might be a temptation; if he had to have something then eat it at work or on the way home and don’t bring it in the house.  

     I started writing down what I was feeling and what I was doing when I was hungry (or thought I needed food).  I had a little nagging voice inside my head that would whisper doubts to me about my ability to be successful…you’ve been overweight your entire life,  you’re never going to be thin, you aren’t strong enough to succeed with weight loss, why bother you’ll just gain it back…  What I did do was to start telling that little voice it was wrong. 

     I stopped watching television too because many things, including commercials, had food that would make me hungry. 

     I started reading A LOT so that I could keep my mind occupied and not think about food.  I was not a reader before but I have become one now.  I read anytime I didn’t have anything else to do.

     I also started writing down what I was feeling when I wanted to eat.  What I found was that I wasn’t hungry…I was bored, frustrated, unhappy, or mad.  I didn’t see it right away but only after going back and reading over what I had written.  With a few days between writing it down and reading what I had written I could see what was happening and gradually began to notice that when I wanted to eat or found myself at the refrigerator or pantry door there was an emotional reason!  This was huge for me because I truly thought I just loved food!! 

     I also planned my eating the day before and thought about where I would be and what I would need to fuel my body so I was prepared.  I went on trips, attended seminars for work, meetings, went out to eat with friends; but I ALWAYS planned ahead so I could be successful.  I even packed a little cooler with water bottles, fruit, etc. if I wasn’t near a refrigerator.  I learned that almost EVERY restaurant has a nutritional guide menu if you ask.  I also have found that many items that we think are good for us when you look at the nutritional guide menu really aren’t good for us at all.  For example,  my husband and I went to a very popular Italian food restaurant after church one Sunday with friends and they decided to get salmon because it was healthy.  As I was looking over the nutritional guide menu I found that the salmon meal was over 1100 calories and 97 carbs!!  I looked at the lasagna, which is my absolute favorite and of course knew I couldn’t get it but just for fun wanted to see how it compared to the salmon…guess what? The lasagna was only 640 calories and 27 carbs!!! Guess what I had?  Yes, that’s correct and if I hadn’t read the nutritional guide menu I would have blown my meal plan without even knowing it!! 

     I was very determined to succeed this time and so I took the steps to do what needed to be done.  I DIDN’T beat myself up.  I accepted where I was and then took daily steps to change what needed to be changed.  I don’t like to hear people say “I cheated today” because that is negative.  You didn’t cheat you made a choice.  At your next meal you will make another choice.  If you make more choices to eat healthy than not, you will move forward in a positive direction.  DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP!! That is not productive and you will not have the results you desire.  Be kind to yourself, tell yourself you can do it, post sticky notes around the house where you can see them and quotes or words of encouragement for your journey.  If you want something eat it but try to make it healthier than the old version you would have eaten.  If you are going to completely get off your plan try to do it all in one day and then eat healthy for the rest of the week.  There are many ways to be successful but the most important thing is to take it one day, one meal at a time and keep making healthier choices…you will accomplish your goals one positive step at a time.

     Please leave comments to help others on their journey and feel free to contact me if you have any questions.  www.getoffthescale.com

 

Nena

Secrets

How are secrets effecting your life?  What are you carrying with you that you don't want people to find out about?  How are those secrets keeping you from being all that you can be?
I have been studying these questions with a group of ladies and am surprised how easily and quickly we answer "I don't have any secrets."  But upon further consideration we all found that we had many secrets that we have carried with us, in some cases, since childhood.  Maybe it's something that happened in the family, things we did when we were younger that were not so proud of now, things we've been involved in, the list goes on and on.  What I would like for you to think about is: What secrets do I have that I wouldn't want ______________ to find out about?  Write them down (and yes you can keep them in a safe place).  Then think about the impact keeping these secrets is having on your life; your relationships, your health, your weight loss journey, etc.  Write that down too.  Then think about what is the worst thing that would happen if this secret were revealed or discovered?  Write it down.  How would you feel if your secrets were not secret anymore?  And last, how is keeping the secret negatively impacting your life and how would revealing the secret positively impact your life?  Write it down. I want to challenge you to do this activity and really think about the secrets (we all have them) and answering each question and writing down your thoughts on paper.  Then I dare you to go back and read over everything after a few days and see what insight you may deem from your own words.  Please leave a comment to let me know what thoughts you have, I would love to hear from you.