A little over two years ago I found myself in the kitchen of our summer cabin surrendering my life long weight problem to God. "Dear God, I cannot do this on my own. I have given up hope that I will be able to be thin and live a normal life. I am begging you to help me find a way to stop my cravings and constant thoughts about food. If you will help me I promise to make my life a blessing to others!" A short time later my daughter approached me about something she found that she thought could help me. I said NO. Yes you read that correctly I said NO. My daughter had never in her life asked me to lose weight, never mentioned dieting to me, and I had asked God to show me the way but when it was presented to me I said no. I think many times we pray for answers and God provides them but we are not ready or not open to listening and we immediately say no. Thank God he worked through my daughter for 4 months until I finally said ok I will try. Not because I thought it would work but because I wanted to prove her wrong so she would quit trying to talk me into it.
I was very negative and lived in a world of doubt, fear, and shame. I had been over weight since shortly after my parents divorced when I was almost 5 years old. We moved several times and my mother remarried. I didn't see my father a lot and there were issues. Needless to say as a child I worked it out in my head that there was something very wrong with me and I must be unlovable. If I were kinder, better behaved, prettier, thinner, etc. then people would like me. Then being overweight provided a barrier from the pain and eventually I was invisible. No one wants to ask the fat girl to do things or go places so I spent a lot of time in front of the television or alone eating. This facilitated the idea that I wasn't deserving of love or attention. Then the voice in my head started telling me how worthless I was and how I couldn't do it. No matter what "it" is because after all if you can't control your weight how can you be successful in anything else. It made me angry at myself which made me lash out at others. It's hard to get close to people and let them in (have any type of an intimate relationship with anyone) when you don't feel deserving and so I did and said things to push people away. I didn't want to get close to people just to have them not like me, love me or even worse yet...leave me. I can look back now and see where friends would mention they were going to be moving and I would start immediately shutting down and withdrawing from the friendship because I didn't want to have to deal with the pain of them moving when the time came. It all sounds so crazy now but when you're living through it you don't see the situation for what it really is. As I set down to write this post today I wanted to reach out to people who were where I was two years ago and was going to write an entirely different message than what has come to my mind but I have typed from my heart because I feel God is charting this course because someone needs to hear this and maybe I can reach that person and help them. Perhaps it is you and if it is I am praying you will comment on this post or you will email me at nena@getoffthescale.com so I can contact you and help in any way I can. Now I am going to finish with the message I was going to write when I first set down. I have lost 134 pounds; I did do it in 12 months (8 months for 100 pounds); I did do it without exercise (although I do think it's better to exercise); I did do it at 50 years old when everyone says is the most difficult time to lose weight; I did do it without any cravings or struggle; and I have maintained my weight for 15 months now. I have started helping others and a friend just told me last week it was the easiest 50 pound weight loss she has ever done. If someone had told me two and a half years ago how simple this would be I would have called them a liar and thought they were crazy! It has been a lot of working on my thought process and stopping the negative dialogue inside my head. It has been a process but the rewards are so worth it. I TRULY want to help others reach their goals. I know I have been put on this journey to have the experience to be able to help others. I encourage you to contact me if you would like to chat, seek help, ask questions, etc. Please don't suffer in silence another day. Life is worth living. It is the best feeling to have renewed hope and passion! YOU ARE WORTH IT! GOD DOES LOVE YOU!
God Bless,
Nena
#getoffthescale #loseweight #weightloss #healthyat50 #lovinglife #GOD #teamfreedom
No comments:
Post a Comment